Jason Robinson walks a fine line in Haines, AK. Photos: Andrew Miller you realize you get a second chance. So you gotta just harness it all in and enjoy it.” Mark has a strong sense of purpose. He’s also been through a pro-found metaphysical experience. And that’s inspiring for someone who doesn’t know whether they should keep pushing it, or, in Dr. Woodman’s words, “develop a new relationship with the high-risk environment.” Dr. Woodman’s Agentic Emotion Regulation Theory is intriguing. The idea that, when I am standing atop a sketchy line, I am dealing with anxiety and emotions I am otherwise unable to process is inspiring. I have never been great at expressing my emotions. I have trouble recog-nizing my anxiety. I’ve always been good at handling fear. Those mo-ments have always been when I feel the strongest sense of who I am, where I am, and what I’m doing. The fear of what’s on the other side of a cornice is a lot simpler than the fear of social rejection. Perhaps, in the long run, I’ll become a more confident person as a result of my NDE. For now, I’m questioning the risk involved in serious backcountry lines. McMorris has found a way to use his NDE as fuel, so maybe there’s hope for me? Or maybe it’s all just one big theory. Regardless, if I find myself a little more scared than usual this season, I hope to remember the words of famed alpinist Reinhold Messner: “Fear... and the state between survival and death are such strong experiences that we want them again and again. We become addict-ed. Strangely, we strive to come back safely and being back, we seek to return, once more, to danger.” THE SNOWBOARDER’S JOURNAL 031
The Snowboarder's Journal frequency 17.4: Page 33
